I don't recall having any expectations of what the evaluation would be like. I'm not a big fan of waiting rooms or crowds, much less, crowded waiting rooms. So I was probably dreading the experience more than anything else.
The area I sat in had about 10 seats, about half of which were being used by adults. Most of the kids that were there were either standing or moving about. There was a chalkboard on one wall and a couple of boys were writing and drawing on the already filled board. Another child was being engaged in conversation by another adult. He was explaining how cobblestones were made, and why. A very detailed description of where you get the stone, how it was mined, smelted and turned into cobblestone. Why the smelter was made of cobblestone. The lady seemed to be more interested in getting him to talk than actually carrying on any sort of meaningful conversation. Cobblestone, cobblestone, cobblestone, he repeated, over and over as he paced back and forth. Occasionally he would join her child in talking about portals to another dimension, all while keeping up with her questions about cobblestone. His dad interjected only once during the conversation when he corrected his grammar. As this child was called in, his dad had to call his name and say, "let's go", about 4 times before he actually turned away from the cobblestone lady.
As I watched this, while waiting for Cody to be called, I could see in all of these kids, things I see in my own. It kind of hit me like a ton of br.. cobblestone. Any doubt I might have been hanging on to about Cody, was gone in a matter of minutes. During this time, Cody was moving back an forth between me and his mother, sitting sideways, bouncing, being upside down, etc.
As staff came out to engage the kids that they were to examine, the first thing I noticed was their demeanor. They seemed very deliberate in their movements, very relaxed. They talked to the kids in very direct way, getting down to their level, seeing them eye-to-eye. They would notice things about them, shirts, etc., and use that as a conversation starter as they led them away. This part of the process gave me a good feeling. It was very obvious that they knew how to talk to the kids in a non-intimidating way.
When we were finally called, we were one of three families that were there for the same thing. They led the kids into a classroom and then they called the parents into another room. We sat with two other couples and a gentleman who was facilitating our class. As he handed out literature and started going over it, I was smacked with reality again. There were three columns of different behaviors or traits on one page. As he read them out loud, I was checking them off in my head as they applied to Cody. Yes, yes, yes... All the way through all three lists, with the exception of one thing, I felt like the answer was yes. It was if they had observed my child as they were coming up with this list.
We were encouraged to talk about our kids around the table. There was a lot of agreeing and head-nodding as people spoke. I made one comment about something that has been really difficult to deal with, thinking I was unique in the way I felt. Not only did the facilitator say it wasn't really unusual, but two of the parents also agreed that they face the same issue. This was encouraging.
The guy talked about all kinds of science relating to the brain and how it works. Also how it works differently for some people. He talked about various things that may lead to this disorder, or may not, the science is far from settled. He also talked about what doesn't cause it. Including parental influences and things like that. Genetics seems to be the direction that they lean in the most. There has not been an ADD gene isolated that they can point to, however. There is no cure. There is no magic pill that can make it go away. There are only methods to help people function and cope better.
As slapped into reality as I was with this process, I did feel better by the time it was over. The information we got was helpful. It wasn't a this is how you do it type session, it was more of a you are in it for the long haul, but there is help type session. I felt better, yes, but still a bit over-whelmed. There is a lot to learn. There is a lot to think about. There are many decisions to be made. There are many challenges to be faced. There is help...
I feel like I sound as though this is something I have to go through. I do, but it isn't about me. This is about my son. Whatever I have to go through in order to help him, I just have to do it. I don't have an option. He doesn't have an option, why should I?
I'm not looking forward to the challenges, but I am looking forward to the triumphs. You cannot have a triumph without a challenge. It is inevitable. We are here for a reason. The path we walk is for a reason.
I am reminded of something I responded with recently regarding my son. Cody's brain is like the Hubble telescope, once you get it focused, you will be amazed at the things it can see.
That is reason enough for me.
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